Yep, that's right folks...I just learned how to be an American again. If they were not bribing me to do this, I so wouldn't have went. But...since they did...it occurred to me that some of the things they said never even crossed my mind and it was a good thing that I went.
For starters, they talked about how going home is going to be depressing. They said you'd have a smaller, but very similar curve going from a honeymoon phase, disappointment, and then to adjustment and normalcy. They listed a number of reasons to base the disappointment. First...here I'm special. I'm a tall American woman and I stand out like a sore thumb in the land of smurfs. People here will fall all over themselves trying to help you out. I'm going to go home, and find that I am just like everyone else now. I'll be tall still, but I won't live in smurfland, so I won't stick out quite so bad. No one is covered here, so I won't stick out for that reason either. While it will be nice to not be size x-large, I'm going to probably have to adjust to not being very special anymore.
Further...people are just not going to understand what I've been through. Being out here in this completely different culture, living an intense 4 months of language and frustration, changes you. I'm going to go home, and not only will everyone be the same, but they probably got on with their lives just fine without me. When people will likely tell me about how x issue was so hard for them when I was gone, it's going to be hard for me to appreciate whatever they went through, because it probably wasn't as hard as this.
I know one person that's been on an intense depressive kick for a year, when she has a loving family surrounding her, financial security, and the ability to make her life whatever she wants it to be. Meanwhile, here, I see women kept alone in their house like puppies in a pet shop, just waiting for the right man to come along and make her a part of his life, all the while hoping that this man isn't going to actually be the worst thing that ever happened to her. I see people in the streets that have nothing, begging with their children because they have no job, or home and this country doesn't have a bunch of social services to bail them out. I know taxi drivers that work 18 hour days and sometimes sleep in their cars because they need to sleep every available minute so they can earn money to feed their families. So when I hear about someone complain because they are unhappy in their job, but have the ability to change their life with the financial backing to live very comfortably with all these creature comforts...I just can't get on the poor me train. I just can't.
People are so blessed in America, and not having the latest iPhone when you ordered it just does not constitute even a bad day. I wish everyone could have this experience. It gives so much perspective.
For starters, they talked about how going home is going to be depressing. They said you'd have a smaller, but very similar curve going from a honeymoon phase, disappointment, and then to adjustment and normalcy. They listed a number of reasons to base the disappointment. First...here I'm special. I'm a tall American woman and I stand out like a sore thumb in the land of smurfs. People here will fall all over themselves trying to help you out. I'm going to go home, and find that I am just like everyone else now. I'll be tall still, but I won't live in smurfland, so I won't stick out quite so bad. No one is covered here, so I won't stick out for that reason either. While it will be nice to not be size x-large, I'm going to probably have to adjust to not being very special anymore.
Further...people are just not going to understand what I've been through. Being out here in this completely different culture, living an intense 4 months of language and frustration, changes you. I'm going to go home, and not only will everyone be the same, but they probably got on with their lives just fine without me. When people will likely tell me about how x issue was so hard for them when I was gone, it's going to be hard for me to appreciate whatever they went through, because it probably wasn't as hard as this.
I know one person that's been on an intense depressive kick for a year, when she has a loving family surrounding her, financial security, and the ability to make her life whatever she wants it to be. Meanwhile, here, I see women kept alone in their house like puppies in a pet shop, just waiting for the right man to come along and make her a part of his life, all the while hoping that this man isn't going to actually be the worst thing that ever happened to her. I see people in the streets that have nothing, begging with their children because they have no job, or home and this country doesn't have a bunch of social services to bail them out. I know taxi drivers that work 18 hour days and sometimes sleep in their cars because they need to sleep every available minute so they can earn money to feed their families. So when I hear about someone complain because they are unhappy in their job, but have the ability to change their life with the financial backing to live very comfortably with all these creature comforts...I just can't get on the poor me train. I just can't.
People are so blessed in America, and not having the latest iPhone when you ordered it just does not constitute even a bad day. I wish everyone could have this experience. It gives so much perspective.
In reality you can't really judge one's sorrows over another. What you see is one dimentional and don't and can't understand the meaning of the loss. Even your experience over there, even though it was hard, you can't really compare other's pain.
ReplyDeletewell...I think that really is the point. When you tell someone about x problem, you assume you are telling someone who is coming from your point of view, and they can understand why you'd be so upset, or you'd never tell them in the first place. Even without this experience, there's the risk that the common ground might not be quite the same. But...I'm not coming from that same place anymore, and the common ground in some of these situations is no longer there.
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