So, it turns out it's not just me.
Today, I was with a variety of other students, and the overall message is clear: the honeymoon phase of this trip is over for most everyone. I've noticed people are definitely a little more aggro, and they are frustrated over many things. Many are disappointed at the lack of response from their people back home. Many are sick of not being able to communicate with any level of effectiveness. Many are feeling they are not improving fast enough to feel any level of competence here.
This is the phase where I need to remind myself of the purpose of writing this blog at all. I began this blog for the reason of personal reflection, and to fulfill my requirement project for the Gilman scholarship. So, should this be read by anyone traveling in the future, let's explore some coping mechanisms.
My program administration gave us a presentation at the beginning of this program about culture shock. They mentioned the honeymoon phase and how much we would love Amman, and then grow to hate everything about it, and that it would get much worse before it finally got better. They mentioned that there would be spontaneous crying for no reason. There would be frustration with the people, and ourselves. They mentioned crippling homesickness.
They specifically said not to lock yourself away from the world in your home stay or apartment. This will just isolate you further, even though you may feel like you want to never hear another Arabic word again and simply must get away. They mentioned the possibility of depression, and seeking treatment if this condition lasts for extended amounts of time. They mentioned sleeping too much as escape, and an additional sign of depression. Do I have any of these symptoms? Well, I don't sleep to escape...I have far too much to do for this to even be a consideration. I have taken a day or two to stay in my apartment, though, watching a couple movies and taking a break.
This was a horrible idea.
By the end of my periods of "escape" I felt so trapped in Jordan that I was falling apart. Fortunately, my classmates have come to my rescue.
I've been invited to go on a couple of trips, and this first weekend here is the Wadi Rum/Aqaba/Petra trip. Next weekend, I am going rappelling and seeing the dead sea with an adventure company. A couple of my classmates have taken it upon themselves to invite themselves over and rescue me from my apartment for an evening of cooking or anything else. These girls are awesome.
My Arabic professor from home emailed me, and offered some advice. I told him what I've been doing, and he approved of most of it, but his first words to me were something along the lines of..."Next month, you're going to want to come home so bad. You're going to be miserable, but don't end your study abroad. Stick with it, and it will get better." The idea of it getting WORSE terrifies me. This is not as bad as it gets?
Like everyone else, I'm struggling. But, I'll just have to keep going. It is supposed to get better. I just wish that would happen sooner, rather than later.
Today, I was with a variety of other students, and the overall message is clear: the honeymoon phase of this trip is over for most everyone. I've noticed people are definitely a little more aggro, and they are frustrated over many things. Many are disappointed at the lack of response from their people back home. Many are sick of not being able to communicate with any level of effectiveness. Many are feeling they are not improving fast enough to feel any level of competence here.
This is the phase where I need to remind myself of the purpose of writing this blog at all. I began this blog for the reason of personal reflection, and to fulfill my requirement project for the Gilman scholarship. So, should this be read by anyone traveling in the future, let's explore some coping mechanisms.
My program administration gave us a presentation at the beginning of this program about culture shock. They mentioned the honeymoon phase and how much we would love Amman, and then grow to hate everything about it, and that it would get much worse before it finally got better. They mentioned that there would be spontaneous crying for no reason. There would be frustration with the people, and ourselves. They mentioned crippling homesickness.
They specifically said not to lock yourself away from the world in your home stay or apartment. This will just isolate you further, even though you may feel like you want to never hear another Arabic word again and simply must get away. They mentioned the possibility of depression, and seeking treatment if this condition lasts for extended amounts of time. They mentioned sleeping too much as escape, and an additional sign of depression. Do I have any of these symptoms? Well, I don't sleep to escape...I have far too much to do for this to even be a consideration. I have taken a day or two to stay in my apartment, though, watching a couple movies and taking a break.
This was a horrible idea.
By the end of my periods of "escape" I felt so trapped in Jordan that I was falling apart. Fortunately, my classmates have come to my rescue.
I've been invited to go on a couple of trips, and this first weekend here is the Wadi Rum/Aqaba/Petra trip. Next weekend, I am going rappelling and seeing the dead sea with an adventure company. A couple of my classmates have taken it upon themselves to invite themselves over and rescue me from my apartment for an evening of cooking or anything else. These girls are awesome.
My Arabic professor from home emailed me, and offered some advice. I told him what I've been doing, and he approved of most of it, but his first words to me were something along the lines of..."Next month, you're going to want to come home so bad. You're going to be miserable, but don't end your study abroad. Stick with it, and it will get better." The idea of it getting WORSE terrifies me. This is not as bad as it gets?
Like everyone else, I'm struggling. But, I'll just have to keep going. It is supposed to get better. I just wish that would happen sooner, rather than later.
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