The Miracle of Stephanie Meyers

Today we had our placement test.  The very nature of the test precludes any opportunity for studying.  You know what you know, and what you don’t, you’re not going to learn before the test.  So I didn’t study a word.  There were some with flashcards and what not, but I couldn’t see the point of being one of the studiers.

I took the taxi, along with two classmates to the University.  It was my first time being there, and it was a little frightening of a ride.  I'm told there is a reliable bus systems in Jordan, but there are no printed schedules or bus routes.  From what I can tell, they are really just giant shared taxis, picking up people who loiter randomly on the road and asking if they want a ride.      

So the other two classmates in my building are male, so I always have to sit in the back.  Women do not ride in the front seat at any time.  This is fine by me, since it seems like a lot of pressure to come up with something to say if in the front. 

By the time we got to UJ, they were having a situation with a student.  Evidently, even before this guy got to test for his Arabic class, he seized and was taken to the hospital.  I worry he’ll get sent home.  Poor guy.

Then we took this dreaded test.  It was three hours long, and really hard.  The written portion had a ton of reading involved. 

At the end of last semester, I felt like my reading skills were lacking.  I have a copy of Twilight in Arabic.  It’s not the worst book, if you’re into the whole teenage angst and sparkles and over sized puppy dogs.  I chose it, though, because it’s such an easy read, and I can refer to the original if I am not getting a part.  If it had not been for Twilight, I probably would have stressed so much worse on this test.

Now, really, other than cast members, who can really say that Stephanie Meyers and Twilight have had such a positive impact on their state of being?

As I wrote that, the call to prayer started going (a beautiful song, by the way.)  Perhaps the universe is sending me a not so subtle hint that Twilight is rubbish regardless of the increased reading skills I acquired.   That said, there is a Ron White stand up with the quote, “if it wasn’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have got through college.”  Look it up on YouTube.  Worth seeing.

Many, many students said that they did not even finish the test.  I finished it, with only a very small part that I was clueless on.  The reading went fairly well, as did the grammar.  I worried about the speaking portion, but it was super easy.  The only thing that was bad was the listening.

Everything is older in Jordan.  In the desks, where I took my test, were cassette decks and older headphones to listen with.  My kids would look at that and wonder what was this ancient contraption.  The speaker system in the classroom was somewhat muffled, and this is how they delivered the listening portion of the test.  It also did not follow the line of questioning like I was used to.  And, there was no time between passages to figure out the answers.  So…I am lucky if I got one right. 

Still, I am pretty hopeful that I will get into the class I need to.  If I don’t, I won’t graduate and then get to go to my MBA program in the summer.  It gives me a bellyache to even think about it much, so I try not to.

Finishing the test, however, was NOT my biggest accomplishment of the day.  After the test, I decided to go home.  Alone.  Totally, completely alone, in a cab with a dude that didn't speak much or any English.  I could almost feel my hands sweat just thinking about it when I started myself going that direction.  However, I really was done with depending on others to translate, or figure things out for me.

The best thing about Jordanians is they will go far out of their way to help you if you ask them a question.  Prior to coming here, I thought the stereotype was true that, as a female,  you can’t respectfully go to a bunch of strange men and ask them a question.  It is perfectly safe here, and they will fall all over themselves to help you.  These guys were filling their huge taxi/bus and I asked them if they would go to the Lebanon Embassy in my neighborhood.  Sadly, I was saying Lebanon, when really I needed Libya Embassy, so they didn’t know how to get me there.  However, they got their best English speaker to talk with me, and I tried my best Arabic, and we concluded I needed a real taxi.  Then he ran out in traffic (they all do it all the time…it’s insane.) and flagged me down a taxi. 

When I got in, the driver did not speak more than a few words of English.  So, we had a very long Arabic conversation where I told him all about my giant extended family in Utah, as well as my home, husband, and own children, and he told me all about his divorce and outrageous alimony he has to pay to his ex-wife.  I couldn't figure out how to get home despite his patient questioning, and we ended up calling my landlord.  She gave him directions, and I got there very quickly after that.  He was so patient and kind to me.  And…I was brave!